Reading 17: SINGLE AND SATISFIED

READING 17

You should spend about 20 minutes on Questions 1 – 16 which are based on Reading 17.

SINGLE AND SATISFIED

A         Being in a loving relationship has its benefits, no doubt about it. Someone to talk to at any given moment, someone to rub your sore shoulders after a hard day's work, someone to do things with, someone to keep you warm at night, someone to buy you gifts at Christmas time and Valentine's Day, someone to make you feel special, and someone to whisper "sweet nothings" in your ear. And don't forget, someone to satisfy those pervasive sexual desires. Financially, couples are better off than individuals, and child-rearing is a lot easier with two parents. Also, being in a relationship helps us feel "normal." You don't have to worry about playing the dating game or trying to figure yourself out (maybe); you're okay because someone else says you are. Right?

B         Is there anything wrong with being in a relationship? Of course not, if both parties feel the same way towards one another and share the same commitment, values, and goals. A relationship can be terrific if both people are in touch with who they and their partners are and are okay with being alone. A dyad is great if both people share honestly with each other and are relatively healthy (for who of us is totally healthy 100% of the time?). Couplehood can be marvelous as long as there is mutual respect and some communication and conflict- management skills. Unfortunately, few relationships share all of these points leaving many people dissatisfied. What about being single? Typically, society views it as being out of our control. If we're single, it's because someone left us or doesn't want us. Seldom seen as a choice, loneliness is more often seen as boring, depressing, sad, negative, and something to remain in for only a short period of time or to be altogether avoided if possible.

C         Socially inept recluses isolated in dimly lit rooms devoid of furniture and warmth, lacking friends and family, hating their jobs and life in general are the usual way in which single people are portrayed. Or, single people (typically men) are seen as bar flies, squandering money, buying outlandish gifts for themselves (to make up for dwindling self-confidence), and engaging in meaningless acts of sex with strangers. Either way, singles lack a positive image.

D         However, being single can be a life-saving, rejuvenating experience. In fact, one can't truly be successful in a relationship without being single for a time. Being single allows us to do what we want, when we want, and with whom we want without having to answer to anyone. Being single allows us to take full responsibility for paying our bills, cleaning and decorating, cooking our meals, planning our activities, and entertaining ourselves. It allows us the time to sit in quiet solitude, to run naked around the living room, to belch as loud as we want, and secretly watch shows that no one else would actually ever admit to watching. This is because we have more time on our hands and are not avoiding looking at ourselves by focusing our energies on someone else.

E          Basically, being single affords each of us the opportunity to discover who we are, what we do and don't like, how we deal with things, what we want out of life, what our expectations are, what our potentials and limitations are, what energizes and empowers us, and what discourages and disappoints us. The goal of being alone should not be to prepare us for couplehood. Rather, the goal of being single should be to learn to fulfill ourselves, to meet our needs, and to develop as a human being regardless of whether or not we choose to enter into a relationship. By learning to love and care for ourselves, we diminish the risk of starving for someone else to fill the void within our souls; a void that only we can truly fill. The purpose of entering into a relationship should be to share oneself with another person as opposed to trying to get from someone what is lacking in ourselves. Expecting someone else to fill in the gaps usually results in grave disappointments , a sense of failure, and endless resentment.

F          Being in an unhealthy relationship is no more admirable than being alone and isolated. However, choosing to be single can be just as satisfying (if not more so) than thriving in a healthy relationship. With the advent of increased divorces, delayed marriages, fewer births, and growing female independence, more and more people will find themselves single. So, why not make the most of it? Sit back, have a soda, and try belching as loud as you can! You'll never know what you can accomplish until you try!

Questions 1 – 5

Reading Passage 1 has 6 paragraphs A – F.

Choose the most suitable headings for Paragraphs B – F from the list of headings below.

Write the appropriate numbers (i –vi) in boxes 1 – 5 on your answer sheet.

List of Headings

(i) Benefits of having a good partner

(ii) The goal of being single

(iii) Benefits of being single

(iv) Images of single people

(v) Why not try to be single?

(vi) Couplehood and being single

Example          Paragraph A                                        Answer (i)

1. Paragraph B

2. Paragraph C

3. Paragraph D

4. Paragraph E

                          5. Paragraph F

Questions 6 – 9

Complete the summary below. Choose NO MORE THAN THREE WORDS from the passage for each answer. Write your answers in boxes 6 – 9 on your answer sheet.

Being in a loving relationship has some benefits. However, there is nothing wrong with being single. Instead, …6… can be life-saving and rejuvenating. It …7… us to do what we want. It gives use the time to sit …8…. Being single affords us …9… to discover who we are. The goal of being alone should be to learn to fulfil ourselves.

Questions 10 – 13

Choose the appropriate letters A – D and write your answers in boxes 10 – 13 on your answer sheet. 

10. Being in a loving relationship means partly …

A. you are isolated.

B. you take the full responsibility for paying the bill.

C. you will have someone to keep you warm at night.

D. you will engage in meaningless acts of sex with strangers.

11. “Socially inept recluses isolated in dimly lit rooms devoid of furniture and warmth” means …

A. active people in bright, warm, and well-furnished rooms.

B. inactive people alone in cold, dark rooms with little furniture.

C. incapable people in society.

D. lazy people who have no friends and no jobs.

12. "Bar flies” most probably means …

A. flies in the bar.

B. bars that have flies.

C. bar people who bring flies into the bar.

D. people frequently visiting the bar.